JA VOL MEIN SHERIFF!!!

Today, at the orange train station, a detachment of the La County Sheriff's Ghestapo was demanding that people allow their bags to be searched by officers before getting on the train.

Ok, let me make a quick clarification, the cops, were VERY un-ghestapo-like. They were in fact pretty pleasant and show no signs of an immanent jack-booting or prison camp stay. I really don't have too much negative to say about them, only their presence and task was offensive to me. Now, don't jump to any conclusions here, I've had a lot of bad interactions with cops, and when cops are shitbags, I'll say so, these guys just didn't pull off any shitbaggery so I felt it fair to say so.

Anyway, here's the deal, they rope off any access to the platform that isn't through their checkpoints, as you approach them, a large sign says something to the effect of you must "submit" to bag check if "demanded" by and officer. So it's a random bag check. You know, without definite aim, direction, rule, or method (it's the definition after all), so imagine my surprise when *I* get picked. I never win anything!!! Oh wait, I *always* get picked for "random" searches, ALWAYS. The whole time I was waiting for the train only one other person got searched, not the dude, not the complainer, not grumpy, not the other 7 dwarfs (I have pet names for my fellow train riders). The ballerina did get searched and I managed to get a shot of that. I also shot a video of the train rolling out of the station with the dozen or so (including two k9's) cops.

I could spend some time rebuffing your thoughs right now, I'm certain they sound like this, "well, you DO stand out as a little thuggish..." I COULD spend some time explaining that this is a RETARDED security model, to only go after what LOOKS like a threat. I won't. You get the point NOW.

So my stuff was searched, of course I had nothing on me. They did balk at my koga stick:


I have the friendly rounded end one. I suggest more people have these, if you have to swing your hands in self defence, you want one of these in it. Cheap too, click the image for more info.

So yeah, they see that and says, "whoa, whats this?" I look down and see him grasping the koga stick, which is in a pock filled with condoms and cock rings, I look him square in the eye and say, "dildo." He pauses for a minute, drops the koga stick and says, "you can go." Huh.

Too bad I never went through with my other plan, my nutsack on all six sides of a picture cube:

"Random back search (as if), please open your bag..."
"Yes sir!"
"What is this?!"
"Sir, thats my nuts..."

I was afraid to take too many pictures, last time I took a picture of a cop and he knew about it, SEVERAL cop cars and a HELICOPTER came to harass me, that's not an exaggeration. So yeah, I took one picture and one video. Here they are: